Blue's Clues
by Stupidfic
Summary: Steve, a private detective, is hired to find a missing puppy millionarie. will he previal?
1. a new case

The name's Steve. I'm a private detective. I use to be to a regular detective, but I was kicked out due to my aggressive attitude and unlawful ways of getting evidence. That, and my green striped sweater was too silly for them. So now I'm all by myself, doing cases for those who can afford my prices.

Sadly, it seems my business didn't get much business. People just didn't have big problems nowadays. And the worse thing was my apartment rent was due in two weeks and I didn't have a dime to pay. Not to mention my landlord is a very demanding type. Normally I would have told the landlord to kiss my ass, but the reason I won't is because… well, my landlord is also my mother.

But today was my lucky day. My office door was opened and in came my newest client. She was a pink puppy with glasses, plus she looked way too young to walk outside all by herself. Regardless I asked if I could help her.

"Bow bow bow" she replied. It meant 'yes' in dog language. Yeah, I know dog language. If there is one thing I learned in detective work, is the worst criminals like to speak in another language.

I asked her "what do you need my help for?"

The pup handed me a newspaper. I was confused, it was only today's newspaper. However, I found something of interest. One article was titled 'Lady Blue Found Missing!' Along with the article was a picture of Lady Blue, who appeared to be the same breed of dog that my client was.

"So is this about Lady Blue?"

The client nodded. She explained she is a good friend of Blue's, and knows something the press doesn't. Apparently, Blue has been socializing with some shady characters for over a month. Last week one of these characters openly threatened her. And just yesterday Blue was suddenly gone. My client can only suspect who did it.

"Why don't you go to the police?"

She frowned. My client then told me one of the shady character that threatened Blue definitely wore a police uniform. She couldn't tell if he was an actual police officer or a stripper dressed like one, but either way the guy was a creep. She would risk her life if went to the cops, so the only choice she had was a private detective. Me.

"Alright toots, I'm on the job. If you have any more information for this case, I would gladly appreciate it."

The pink puppy nodded and turned towards the door. When she opened the door, I just realized something.

"Wait! You didn't tell me your name!"

My client turned around and spoke in dog language. It translated to the word 'Magenta.'

"Magenta, huh? Nice name."

She smiled, then left. I got off of my chair and stretched. I turned to my side and saw my Handy Dandy Notebook lying the drawer, dust covering it's surface. I picked it up, dusted it, then put in my pocket.

And thus started my latest case: the Blue's Clues case!

-

To be continued.


	2. first clue

Since Magenta still didn't bring anything to help this case, I decided to get information myself. I'm sure some scum in this city know more about Lady Blue's disappearance, I know just the scum. Well, make that SOAP scum.

I walked into a dark alley, carrying a gun in my pocket in case someone tried to jump me. And hanging out by the wall was the punk I was looking for, just where I expected him to be.

"Hello, Slippery Soap" I said loudly. The soap bar was startled by my voice and fell to the ground. Yup, that's why they call him slippery.

Picking himself up, Slippery Soap shouted "damn it! I hate it when you do that! What do you want from me now?"

"Do you know anything about the disappearance of someone by the name of Lady Blue?"

"LADY BLUE?!… nope, never heard of her."

"Come on, I know you like to socialize with the criminal types."

"Hey, it's not my fault all the muggers and drug dealers like the same taco store as I do. Though this one green-furred dog was complaining about the food four days ago. He said he would rather go to the 'La Spice' restaurant uptown but he spent most of his money to buy stuff to kidnap Blue… CRAP!"

I smirked as I wrote down all the information into my Handy Dandy Notebook. That's another reason why he's called Slippery Soap.

I turn to leave, not before saying "thanks for the help, Slippery."

Slippery Soap shouted behind my back "don't you dare say you got your info from me! I don't want to be rubbed against a filthy person chest like last time!"

-

I parked my car in the parking lot of La Spice. Hmm, I think I know this place. Yeah, it's the high-class restaurant famous for it's healthy snacks. My current suspect must be pretty darn rich to afford eating here.

Right when I got inside, some snobby waiter got in my way.

"I'm sorry sire" spoke the waiter "but we are currently full."

"I am not interested in eating here" I stated. "I'm a private detective and here to get facts on my case."

The waiter suddenly went wide-eyed. "Case? Look, you might know that I think my ex is a total biatch and all, but I did NOT try to murder her that one night."

"Umm… actually the case I'm working is the disappearance of Lady Blue."

"Oh… I see. Well then, you would want to talk to the manager about that. I shall take you to him."

The creepy waiter lead me to the kitchen. There, I met the owner of La Spice, Mr. Salt.

Mr. Salt says with a French accent "why hello there! What can I do for you, American swine?"

"I'm looking for green-colored dog, and I hear he comes here often. Do you have idea who he is?"

"Ah, yes! I know exactly who you are talking about! He's Green Puppy, a very valuable costumer of mine. Such as interesting fellow who has such a crappy name."

"Green Puppy, huh? Any idea where he lives?"

"How the heck should I know?! I can't even hang out anymore thanks to my wife and two kids! But I think I heard him mentioning he has a three story house on Generic Street. Try there."

-

Like the talking salt shaker said, there was a three story house by Generic Street. There was no light illuminating in any of the windows, so there was a chance Green Puppy wasn't home right now. Well, there's only one way to find out. It isn't legal, but than again I wasn't exactly an official detective.

With a swift whack of my pistol, the glass window breaks apart and I gain an entrance inside. Hmm… I guess Green Puppy isn't here at all. Or he's a heavy sleeper. Whatever. Let's see if there is anything suspicious. I take a look in the living room, not bothering to turn on the lights since I have night vision or something.

"A clue! A clue!" a voice of a child speaks inside my head. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell I'm mentally ill and the children talk to me sometimes.

Despite my shrink's protests, I listen to the voice and look for the clue. I couldn't find anything evidence-worthy.

"Over there!" another voice of a child said to me.

And then I saw it. Hidden behind the table was something out of the ordinary. It was a fish, a sea bass I believe, and on the side was a blue paw print. Could the paw print belong to Lady Blue? I've drawn the fish in my Handy Dandy Notebook. It wasn't a work of art, but it was a clear drawing nonetheless.

Just then, I hear the front door open. Ah crap. I decide to take my leave and soon threw myself out of the broken window. I crawl the rest of the way to my car, but I didn't even reach halfway when I heard an angry bark from the house. It was Green Puppy, and I think he figured out I broke into his house. Double crap. I get off the ground and run full speed to my ride. I heard four footsteps behind my back, and I knew that dog would maul me like a mailman.

I finally reach my car and almost instantly got inside. Snarling and clawing came from outside my vehicle.

"BOW BOW BOW!" growled Green Puppy. My, what a potty mouth!

My car went full speed ahead, and my pursuer eventually was left in the dust. Whew! That was close! This case is becoming rough and I think it will only get rougher. But I only have one clue and no other leads. I need more information on Green Puppy, but where?

Then I got an idea to find more info. I knew it might be a bad decision but I have no other choice. I'll have to go visit somewhere I don't belong… the police department.

-

To be continued.


	3. second clue

I cautiously walked inside the police station. I saw familiar faces almost instantly, and they were all busy working to even notice me. One of the people I remembered was my old partner Side Table Drawer!

I speak out "hey Side Table Drawer! It's good to see you again!"

"How's it going, Steve?" the crime-fighting furniture replied. "So when are you going to give me back my Handy Dandy Notebook which you still haven't returned for about eight months now?"

"Umm… I'm still looking for it in my closet. Anyways, I'm to see if anyone by the name Green Puppy has a criminal record."

"Green Puppy, you say? Well, I'm doing any detective work today so I guess I'll check the files for you."

I sat in a chair while Side Table Drawer went looking for criminal records. An animal with an officer's hat noticed me and walked towards me.

"Can I help you sir?" asked the officer.

"I'm just waiting for a friend" I calmly replied.

"Oh, okay then." The policeman left, not before giving a second glance.

A minute later my ex-partner came back. He brought nothing back, but his face showed he found something.

Side Table Drawer "Green Puppy has a file in the criminals records, and I must say he is quite a rascal. Drug trafficking, assault, knocking down blocks. And get this; he works for the mafia!"

"The one run by Don Periwinkle?" I asked. Don Periwinkle was a nasty fellow, been convicted of multiple crimes but was never found guilty.

"The one and only. Hey, why do you want this info anyway?"

"Just out of curiosity."

"…You really don't want me to know, do you? What are you hiding from me?"

I sighed from Side Table Drawer's persistence. "Look, I'm working on a private case involving someone named Lady Blue and my client does not the police to know about it."

"Lady Blue? I think one of the detectives is working on that case as well, though I don't know who it is. Anyways, good luck."

"Thanks." I was about to leave, but I turned around and asked "did you get a new partner yet?"

My furniture friend grinned. "Yup! Wanna guess who? He's familiar to you."

"You don't mean…"

"It's your brother Joe!"

"I knew it! Why is he a detective now?"

"Beats me. Perhaps he wants to be more like his brother?"

"Whatever, I have to get going. Tell Joe I said hi."

"Sure thing pal. And try to find my Handy Dandy Notebook, will ya?"

-

So Green Puppy is associated with the mafia, huh? Interesting. Could Blue be involved with the mafia as well? I hope not.

The Cat's Meow was a casino run by the Don, which I was inside right now. We, I mean the police force, suspected the casino was unfair, but unfortunately Periwinkle was found not guilty. I stiffened as the Don came by with some unfriendly Felt Friends.

Looking right at me, Don Periwinkle calmly spoke "so an employee of mine said a detective wanted to speak to me. What can I do you for, sir?"

"Do you know anyone by the name of Lady Blue?" I ask.

"Blue?! Of course, she and I were best pals long ago. Blue is a very smart girl, which is why she's so darn wealthy. Wealthier than I am, even."

"Is that so?"

"Yup. Too bad we went our separate ways, her going to college and being a good girl, me dropping out of high school and doing multiple crim- I mean legitimate businesses. Is that all?"

"No, I think that's enough information for me, thank you."

The cat nodded and turned to leave with his tough-looking escorts.

"A clue! A clue!" a child yelled inside my head.

I soon noticed another blue paw-print was printed on the back of Periwinkle's business suit. And that's when I also noticed the Don was wearing a business suit. Strange, I thought he was walking around naked. Shaking off that thought, I quickly drew a suit on my Handy Dandy Notebook before the Don left my sight.

I left the casino with my mind full of questions. Why did Blue mark a fish and a suit as clues? Is the Don behind the kidnapping? Did he do it out of jealousy?

I was so busy thinking to myself I didn't notice a plastic shovel and a plastic pail come towards me. They pushed into a dumpster and started beating me up. They stopped when someone came over. And that someone was Green Puppy!

"Bow bow bow bow bow!" he threatened. In English it meant 'You better stop looking for Blue, otherwise you'll both get hurt!'

Before I could do anything, the mongrel mutt closes the dumpster lid right on my face! When opened the lid up again, Green Puppy and his pals were gone.

I groan in pain as I got out of the dumpster. I smelled like garbage and my body was full of boo-boos and owies. How did Green Puppy know? Did the Don tell him?

Something tells me there's more to this case then a simple disappearance. The beating I receive was suppose to discourage me from continuing the case, but all it did was make more want to solve it even more.

-

To be continued.


	4. third clue

I heard an irritating tune outside my office. It sounded liked a group of men were singing "mail time! Mail time! Maiiil TIIIIIIME!!!!" Hmm, I can only assume who it could be.

I open the door, and on the other side was Mailbox, the mail box postal worker.

"I have a letter for you!" Mailbox spoke cheerfully. "It's from somebody by the name Magenta."

I took the letter from Mailbox's insides, thanked him, and slammed the door on his face! What? He's a mail box, he doesn't have any feelings.

Opening the envelope, I looked and saw a video of Magenta attached to the envelope. Such fancy technology we have these days.

"Bow bow bow. Bow bow. Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow. Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow. Bow bow bow bow bow bow. Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow. Bow bow bow bow bow bow."

Interesting. Magenta has found Lady Blue's journal and believed to have found important information in it. One journal entry describes Lady Blue having problems with 'them', most likely the shady characters that kidnapped her. She wrote down 'they' sabotaged a factory she owns, on account she didn't give what they asked for. That journal entry was pretty vague, but it might lead somewhere. I wrote on my Handy Dandy Notebook as Magenta mentioned the directions to Blue's factory.

-

'PUPPY POWER AUTOMOBILES' was printed in colossal, dark blue letters on the side of the factory. So this is what made Lady Blue wealthy? Well, you can't be rich for doing nothing. Unless you're a blue blood of course. Heh heh, blue blood.

Hard-to-understand jokes aside, I ventured closer to the car production facility. Upon further inspection I noticed the doors were broken, revealing an accessible entrance inside. I noticed the place was pretty wrecked, I'm guessing this is the sabotage Lady Blue mentioned in her journal.

POW! I fell to the floor when something hit me in the back of my head. I got hit in the head again, and again, and again. Before the fifth blow could hit me, I rolled out of the way and pointed my gun to the source of the head whacking.

What I found was a young polka dotted pup firmly holding a broomstick. When he saw the pistol pointing at him he fearfully dropped his broom.

"Oh my god, don't shoot me!" he begged. "I'm sorry I hit you. Please have mercy!"

I calmly responded "easy there, kid. I won't hurt you, though I would like to know why you hurt me."

"Huh? You mean they didn't send you here to sabotage the factory again?"

"No, I'm here to investigate. Speaking of which, I want to who you were talking about!"

"The Meanies Gang! Blue was making a brand new type of car and for some reason she decided to get ideas from those guys. It was fine at first, but when the first vehicle was made they became impatient, demanding their cars. Blue tried telling them it was too early, but then they decided to wreck the factory, thinking Blue was holding them out. And I'm the one that has to clean up this mess! Argh!"

A third voice spoke out "looks like you'll be cleaning up again soon, Sprinkles."

The dog, apparently named Sprinkles, moved his head towards the broken door and screamed. "OH NO, IT'S THE MEANIES GANG!"

I looked at the same direction and raised one eyebrow. The gang was a bunch of cute looking animal with an air of unpleasantness surrounding them. What made things weirder was that their leader was… an alarm clock?

"Hey, Tickity Tock!" said a baby bear to her boss "it looks like Sprinkles has a friend for us to play with!"

"I can clearly see him, stupid" muttered Tickity Tock. "Hey pal! What business do you have around here?"

"I'm here looking for Lady Blue" I responded.

"That female dog used for breeding? The mangy mutt owes us big time, and I bet she ran away from fear! Something like that coming from a rich snob makes me really angry, and when I get angry my gang gets angry, and when the gang gets angry things get broken."

"I won't allow you to do that" I say, pointing my gun towards him.

"Is that so? Alright then, We'll break YOU instead!" All of a sudden, the Meanies Gang took out various firearms from out of nowhere!

Oh boy. I had three seconds to find a way to beat them all before I became Swiss cheese. I decided to shoot like crazy and fired my gun as quickly as possible. The bullets missed the intended targets, but one managed to break off a chain. This chain was connected to a car, which was hanging right above the Meanies Gang. Without the chain to support it, the car fell right on top of the hoodlums.

"Hey" the baby bear groaned, "I think this is the same type of car we wanted."

Before passing out, Tickity Tock said "ugh… I hate irony."

Sprinkles applauded me for taking his enemies down. "Thanks mister! I'm getting the police here right away!"

The panicked puppy cheerfully went to look for a phone. I studied the car when he left, wondering why the Meanies Gang wanted a such a boring car.

"A clue! A clue!" said a child's voice inside my head.

I noticed the paw print on the back car window. The next thing I did was pull out my Handy Dandy Notebook and doodle a picture of the car.

A fish, a suit, and a car. What is Blue trying to tell? I can't think of a possible answer. I'll need to figure these clues out quickly, or else Lady Blue might pay the price.

-

To be continued.


	5. end of the case

A fish, a suit, and a car. I pondered the clues' meaning on a large, soft red chair. I call it the Thinking Chair. But even the brainstorming power of the Thinking Chair couldn't put the pieces together.

These clues made no sense! It's like a bad fan fiction writer had no idea where this story was going and made stuff up as he went along! Okay, calm down Steve. Maybe I'm thinking too logically, maybe I need to think outside the box. But not outside the Thinking Chair, heaven forbid!

Hmm…. Perhaps it's a location involving the three clues. What kind of place has fish, suits, and cars?

"A market place!" answered a kid's voice.

Thanks, nonexistent kid. There's a market district east of the city, and I only hope the voices in my head aren't wrong this time.

-

I slowly drive my car as I view the stores and their names, hoping at least one of them had a hint. Some other people driving on the same road weren't too pleased with my slow moment, and showed their displeasure by flipping the bird as they rode past me.

Ignoring the rude remarks from the other vehicles, I noticed some interesting stores. There was a Fishy Fish Market, a Penguin's Fine Gentlemen Suits two buildings over, and a Slow-Go Automobiles between them. I think I found the right place!

There was an open garage at the automobile store, so I go park my car right inside because I felt like it. A pink-shelled snail inside the garage noticed me and slowly moved towards me direction. I saved both our time by getting out of my ride and walking up to the bug.

"Welcome to Slow-Go Automobiles!" greeted the snail. "Do you need your car fixed, or maybe even buy a new car?"

"Nah" I replied, "I'm just browsing around."

"What are ya looking for? Maybe I can help find it."

"Alright then. Do you have any blue puppies anywhere?"

"…I'll be right back…"

The snail took five minutes to go to the employee's only room ten feet away from his current location. Ten minutes passed, and I heard a loud engine starting up. It only took a millisecond when a large van plowed through the wall and onto the street, miraculously avoiding me in the process.

And to think I was being sarcastic about the blue puppy thing.

Now that I had a hunch this snail knows where Lady Blue is. I got into my vehicle and drove after him, following the trail of carnage on the road.

I soon caught sight of the vehicle just up ahead. I pull out my pistol and shot at the back wheels, managing to deflate one of them. Now the van was slower due the popped wheel, so I took this advantage to get closer. The snail, desperate to lose me, soon tries to ram me off the road.

I shouted to him "I would slow down if I were you!"

"Why?! So you can catch me?!" the snail shouted back.

"That, and because you're about to collide into a tree!!"

"What? I don't…"

CRASH! The van stops to a sudden halt when the tree allowed it no further. I don't why a tree was staying in the middle of the road, but I'm thankful it was. Getting out of my car, I walked up the snail inside his wrecked ride. I pointed my gun at him, just in case he had any more ideas.

"Where is Lady Blue?" I demanded.

Groaning in agony, the shelled slug responded "she's in the basement of my store. The key to her kennel is in my office. Ouch."

-

Half an hour later, the police arrived at Slow-Go Automobiles. Lady Blue was rescued, and the criminal snail was arrested. The police officer I met at the station came to me and shook my hand.

"Well done, Steve" said the officer. "I don't know how you did it, but you managed to find Lady Blue. I was the one who was working on finding her, yet you beat me to it."

"Thanks" I said. "Say, why did that snail hold Blue captive anyhow?"

"From what the snail confessed to us, Lady Blue was working on a new transportation project called the 'Skadoo.' The snail seems get word of everything in this city, so somehow he heard about this project and knew it would be revolutionary. He hired three thugs to kidnap Lady Blue, but since he didn't have the money right away he promised he would give them the cash when the Skadoo became a hit. By forcing Blue to had over the ownership of the Skadoo in exchange for her freedom, the snail would have become a very wealthy bug."

"So Don Periwinkle and the Meanies Gang have nothing to do with this?"

"Yup, this was only the snail's doing."

"Hmm. The one thing I don't understand is who was the police officer that threatened Lady Blue?"

"You mean Diego? He isn't a cop, just a male stripper dressed up like one."

"Oh. Okay."

I soon felt someone tugging my leg, and I looked down to see Magenta and Lady Blue. Blue sincerely thanked me for saving her life, and her pink friend gave me the money for solving her case. And with no other reason for staying here, the puppies left inside a fancy limo.

I decided to take my leave as well. Even though I'm not into dogs, that Blue sure was a dame. It would have been nice to live in a together and look for clues every day. But this is the real world, and she is out of my league.

Oh well, its no big deal anyhow. I'm single, and baby I love it! Okay, so I haven't been with a girl once in my lifetime, but I'm sure I'll get one eventually.

Now what, you ask? Well, I don't know what happens next. Maybe I'll get out of the private detective business and find a job that pays well. Perhaps a musician? Naaaaaah!

Well, I do know mysteries never sleep, and neither do mystery solvers…

-

The end.


End file.
